Baby Resume - 13 Weeks

Baby Resume - 13 Weeks
The Job Search Starts Early

Ever wondered what people are expecting you to put in the "occupation" blank when you fill out forms about children? After filling out so many forms during the early days of my daughter's life, I realized that I'm probably embarrassing her by writing "unemployed" every time. As if she's just some little freeloader at my house! Three months old is old enough to contribute, right? I figured that if my daughter is expected to list an occupation, then she'll need a good resume. And so...


The 13-week-old's Resume
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CAREER OBJECTIVE: Currently seeking a low-stress position in a warm snuggly environment.


SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS:

* Weigh less than 9 pounds; very portable!

* Have good deposition; very calm.

* Can recognize familiar faces within 12-15 inches of me.

* Skill set includes eating, drooling, and pooping.

* All vaccinations are current.


RELEVANT ACCOMPLISHMENTS:

* Can sleep up to 5 hours in a row.

* Six weeks experience smiling.

* Learned to giggle last week!


PREVIOUS WORK HISTORY:

My last job included a lot of swimming. It was a short-term job, that should have lasted 40 weeks, but an administrative decision was made to let me go after only 35 weeks. I don't understand all the details, I was just pushed out rather suddenly.

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Hand

This week's GBE2 Challenge is to write a 100-word story, (including the title)...


Hand

Once upon a time, there was a hand. A beautiful hand, with a wandering heart.

One day the hand decided to seek its fortune beyond the sleeve. Well-provisioned with lotion, it slid across the desk, leaving the keyboard behind as it slipped off the edge, and found the carpeted floor.

Gliding over the soft fibres, the hand found its way behind the desk. There it encountered a bunny! The hand prepared to flee, but the bunny spoke comfortingly, "Come and meet my family. There are many of us."

And so, the hand rested awhile among them; (sneezing quietly).

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Z is for Zodiac Signs

Do you know your sign? Do you read your horoscope every day? I know people that check their horoscope and plan their days around them. It always strikes me as a little absurd, but never more so than when I got a job offer to write horoscopes.

Yes, it's true. Somewhere on the Web, on a well-known and well-respected freelance-writing job board, there are two posts this year (so far!) asking for writers to come up with horoscope “predictions”. No qualification required, other than the usual “must be your own unique work” that freelancers expect to see on any assignment.

No need to be an astrologist, a seer, or a medium. Just write interesting bits of advice that will keep people coming back to their website. Reading that took all the mystery out of for me. I think I wanted (just a little) to believe...

What about you? Do you believe that your life is being controlled by your zodiac sign? Do you make plans based on your horoscope?

F is for Flag Quiz

A bit of shameless self-promotion today. At long last I have finished my first big quiz lens on Squidoo!

Ever since Squidoo introduced the Monster Trophies and point system, I've been working on this quiz lens. It turned out to be a lot harder than I thought, and a *lot* more time consuming. It's finally finished and I'm really happy with how it turned out.

I hope you'll check it out. It's at 50 Quiz Questions on USA State Flags, and you don't have to be a Squidoo member to take the quizzes. (Although, if you *are* a Squidoo-er, make sure you log in first, because quizzes are worth 10 points each!)

I'm hoping this will be the first in a series of homeschool resources, so I'm open to feedback. :)

E is for Easter Poems

Egg Hunt

Eggs in the attic
Eggs under the couch
Eggs have been hidden
All over the house

Eggs in the cupboards
Eggs behind books
Easter eggs resting in
Every last nook

The children who searched
Thought that they were all found
But some of those eggs
Were still lying around

Eggs going rotten
And do you know why?
Those eggs are still hidden
And now it's July!


Read more Easter Poetry at List My 5!

D is for Dandelions

Dandelions are my favorite flower.

Yes, I know. Dandelions are a "weed". But they way I see it, the only difference between weeds and prize-winning roses is the amount of effort involved in raising them.

Dandelions are pretty. They're yellow and cheerful, and they're *really* easy to grow! When I was young, I ran an ongoing war with my father as I blew dandelion spores all over the yard he was striving to keep clear of everything but grass. When I finally got my own house, I encouraged the dandelions to take over.

I still have grass when it's not dandelion season. When they do bloom, they make a sea of yellow, followed by a season of spore-snow as I "plant" the next generation's crop.

C is for Cookies

Some of my favorite memories of when my son was small are of making cookies. It started innocently enough one Easter, when I picked up an egg-shaped cookie cutter from Wal-mart. I thought it was something fun we could do together.

There's no "wrong" way to decorate an Easter egg, so I tinted white frosting with food dye, loaded into homemade piping bags, and we started getting creative.

My son was about 20 months old at the time, so I took the precaution of striping him down to his diaper before I let him loose with the frosting bags.

The result, of course, was the kind of "beautiful" that only Mommies and Daddies understand. A smiling child covered in frosting, a kitchen covered in sticky pastel sugar, and far too many cookies gobbled up.

I decided we would do it again next month...for Mother's Day.

B is for Blogger

Today I am a blogger.

The part of blogging that I have always feared the most; the part that kept me from really getting started, was the idea of staring at a blank screen every day, trying to figure what my potential readers would want to hear about from me.

My favorite part of the A to Z Challenge is being given a starting point each day. Instead of having every topic in the world to choose from, I only have 1/26th of all the topics in the world to choose from each day. :)

This might be the push I needed to finally understand the successful blogging careers that I've heard about; or, to at least meet some new friends and read some interesting posts!

A is for Afghans

You would not believe how much I struggled to find the perfect "A" topic for the A-to-Z-Challenge. I was all ready to use "crochet" for the C-topic day when, (in a blinding flash of "duh!"), I realized that the most freqent result of my crocheting is...Afghans!

I learned to make afghans almost by accident when I admired someone else's work, and she insisted in teaching me how to do it. Very shortly, I was able to crank out a new afghan about every other day. I was hooked!!

I graduated from afghans to 3-dimensional projects; such as hats, mittens, baby clothes, and even stuffed animals, but afghans remain my favorite projects. I'm constantly amazed at how many variations there can be with just a handful of basic stitches.

NOTE: I will be adding pictures to some of my projects, as soon I figure out how to add pictures to a blogger post!