Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Baby Resume - 13 Weeks

Baby Resume - 13 Weeks
The Job Search Starts Early

Ever wondered what people are expecting you to put in the "occupation" blank when you fill out forms about children? After filling out so many forms during the early days of my daughter's life, I realized that I'm probably embarrassing her by writing "unemployed" every time. As if she's just some little freeloader at my house! Three months old is old enough to contribute, right? I figured that if my daughter is expected to list an occupation, then she'll need a good resume. And so...


The 13-week-old's Resume
======================

CAREER OBJECTIVE: Currently seeking a low-stress position in a warm snuggly environment.


SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS:

* Weigh less than 9 pounds; very portable!

* Have good deposition; very calm.

* Can recognize familiar faces within 12-15 inches of me.

* Skill set includes eating, drooling, and pooping.

* All vaccinations are current.


RELEVANT ACCOMPLISHMENTS:

* Can sleep up to 5 hours in a row.

* Six weeks experience smiling.

* Learned to giggle last week!


PREVIOUS WORK HISTORY:

My last job included a lot of swimming. It was a short-term job, that should have lasted 40 weeks, but an administrative decision was made to let me go after only 35 weeks. I don't understand all the details, I was just pushed out rather suddenly.



Tweet

Follow Me on Pinterest

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Hand

This week's GBE2 Challenge is to write a 100-word story, (including the title)...


Hand

Once upon a time, there was a hand. A beautiful hand, with a wandering heart.

One day the hand decided to seek its fortune beyond the sleeve. Well-provisioned with lotion, it slid across the desk, leaving the keyboard behind as it slipped off the edge, and found the carpeted floor.

Gliding over the soft fibres, the hand found its way behind the desk. There it encountered a bunny! The hand prepared to flee, but the bunny spoke comfortingly, "Come and meet my family. There are many of us."

And so, the hand rested awhile among them; (sneezing quietly).


Tweet Me!